SmartAlec GPS Adventure Guide

As you might have notice, South Dakota was just nailed with a blistering blizzard that left 100’s of cars sitting idle as decorations on the landscape we usually know as roads.  I admit that I was one of the destined many that found my way into the night to test the ’stay off the roads’ warnings.  I make a little side money delivering bundles of newspapers to carriers in the middle of the night, so being a man of commitment, I was going to give it my best.  I learned many lessons along the way.

Lesson #1:  Trust your gut.  I looked out the window after hearing the ’stay off the road’ warning from KEVN news and thought to myself “That’s a lot of wind and snow”.  But after speaking with the ‘rulers’ of the midnight paper I was reminded that bad weather was included in the contract.  OK…OK… I’ll try.   About 3/4 of a mile away from my house I noticed the traffic lights were out and visibility was good for about 1/4 mile.  I thought I’d be smart and pull into a car wash garage and throw on the new snow chains I brought along.  SMART MOVE RIGHT?! Wait…. nope, now I’m stuck in a blind snow bank in the car wash driveway.

Lesson #2: Put your snow chains on before you leave home.  I now understand the true meaning of “tire changing” words and I’ve coined them as “tire chaining” words”.  I know other guys, less handy than I, that have used tire chains so, for me, putting them on should be easy.  Yes, of course, I’m sure they were in the home of their driveway out of the blistering wind.  The driveway of a car wash is a different story.  1 hour later, soaked gloves and all, I have tire chains on.  I’m GOING HOME NOW!

Lesson #3: Do it right the first time.  As I said earlier, I think I’m handy.  I guess my ‘handiness’ is finding its way out the back door because I had to adjust, disconnect, get re-stuck in the snow, re-connect, re-adjust, and finally have a ‘real’ handy guy teach me a few lessons on tire chains before I got it right.  This guy was from Lead, SD and knows the value good chains.  He also wasn’t  afraid to give a struggling handyman impostor like myself the humbling reminder of ‘your doing it backwards again’!  Honestly, I think for about 5 minutes there, I was about 12 years old working with my dad.  Hilarious now, but not at the time (shaking head).

Lesson#4: When you get it right, take advantage.  Okay…so the good part comes!  I’m unstoppable on day two of this November blizzard!  I take my time on a midnight adventure and find a few photos of the ill prepared or the surprised few who thought they ‘had what it takes’ to battle through the snow drift.

[Show as slideshow]

Lesson #5:  Don’t live in a trailer house on the South Dakota prairie.   Blizzards don’t care about the size of your vehicle, the size of your brawn, or the size of your house.  They will ‘own you’ and after you dig out of the enveloping snowdrift you’ll feel like you lost a ‘yo Momma so ugly’ contest to Mohammed Ali.  You ain’t coming out without some serious pain.

Moral to the Story:  “Expect the best, plan for the worst, and prepare to be surprised.” Denis Waitley

Thanks to timdogg444 for the above video.

Posted under Videos, Whacky Stories & Thoughts